Is Dating Biblical?

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Is dating the Biblical way to know if a person is the right person to marry? (aside from praying to God for a spouse)

Here is the link of a preaching from Paul Washer

@Mildred-Codilla said in Is Dating Biblical?:

In here, the girl and the boy love each other so much that even though they don’t commit sexual immorality, their status as “in a relationship” gives license to an interaction with each other (physically like holding hands and hugging, emotionally like the world only revolves around them, financially like they have common fund, and I think spiritually like the boy has an authority over the girl as to how and what she can do in the ministry). And given that situation where both are so in love with each other (cannot be avoided since it is not taught in churches here what to do) dating results not to knowing whether he/she is a potential spouse but loving themselves more than anybody else,even more than parents or siblings and worst more than God.

At least in my experience, here in Canada, things aren’t like that. There are different problems we have, but not those problems.

Teaching from 1 Corinthians 7 might help people distinguish more wisely between dating and marriage. Husbands and wives have authority over each other’s bodies (and by extension, I think, bank accounts and so on), as 1 Cor 7:3-4 says, but not dating couples. Verses 32-34 show also that those who are not married (which includes those who are dating) should be single-mindedly seeking to please the Lord. It is only when married that our responsibilities shift in such a way to seek to please our husband or wife, according to verse 34. Ephesians 6 also shows that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives are to submit to their husbands, but this is not the case when they are dating! The boyfriend has no spiritual authority over the girlfriend, for example.

@Mildred-Codilla I haven’t watched the video you linked to, but I love Paul Washer’s teaching in general!

So without knowing what he said, I would suggest that God doesn’t give a precise way to know if a person is the right one to marry. He gives certain commands that guide us, of course, like not being unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor 7:14).

Beyond that, God gives us general principles that we need to meditate on and apply prayerfully to our lives. This is wisdom, not commands, so that we have to exercise discernment and instead of blindly following a list of rules.

So I would say that people can date in a godly way, and court in a godly way - as well as in ungodly ways! But the godliness and ungodliness lies in the heart attitudes of the people involved, not in their practicing something called “dating” or “courtship.”

@Mildred-Codilla said in Is Dating Biblical?:

Thanks for that advice brother. Please give us some advice as to another alternative for dating in order to know potential spouse.

I don’t think I would suggest an alternative to dating, but suggest that the passages I mentioned in my last post be followed as a beginning to helping young people date in a godly and healthy way.

I know that Josh Harris himself recently warned against the legalism that is present/hinted at in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and what he taught there can certainly be taken too far and made to be a law when it isn’t any such thing; however, I found his thoughts valuable as a young person in seeking to honour Christ as a single person, and please the Lord in dating. I don’t suggest that you teach people to “kiss dating goodbye,” but that you use some of the thoughts in that book as helpful motivators for young people to pursue holiness and purity as singles.

See Josh’s statement here. His book isn’t published anymore, but you might be able to find used copies. He has written other helpful books as well.

@Brent-Karding said in Is Dating Biblical?:

So I would say that people can date in a godly way, and court in a godly way - as well as in ungodly ways! But the godliness and ungodliness lies in the heart attitudes of the people involved, not in their practicing something called “dating” or “courtship.”

In the Philippines,specifically among christians, girlfriend and boyfriend relationship looks different. Or maybe I dont know what it looks like there in your country within christian community. In here, the girl and the boy love each other so much that even though they don’t commit sexual immorality, their status as “in a relationship” gives license to an interaction with each other (physically like holding hands and hugging, emotionally like the world only revolves around them, financially like they have common fund, and I think spiritually like the boy has an authority over the girl as to how and what she can do in the ministry). And given that situation where both are so in love with each other (cannot be avoided since it is not taught in churches here what to do) dating results not to knowing whether he/she is a potential spouse but loving themselves more than anybody else,even more than parents or siblings and worst more than God. Even if limitations and boundaries are taught to the two,still they can’t control themselves, the ending is still the same. It has caused more bad than good.

Thanks for that advice brother. Please give us some advice as to another alternative for dating in order to know potential spouse.